


i've always liked myself better with you

by tiabi



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-09
Updated: 2017-06-09
Packaged: 2018-11-12 04:37:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11154390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiabi/pseuds/tiabi
Summary: “I thought we would always be friends.”“Yeah, see… that’s where you were wrong.”--where Kara loses Lena, gets engaged, and finds out that Lena was the one she's wanted all along.Kara's POV ofi hope you don't make it to the altar (my dear).





	i've always liked myself better with you

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for the incredible responses, and here is Kara's POV that people have asked for. 
> 
> all mistakes are mine.

She adores her family and friends (who end up being part of her family anyways by Kara’s standards). It’s always been a priority to reserve time just for the most important people in her life.

So Kara is surprised when she receives a call from Jess that Lena has taken an emergency trip to Shanghai and won’t be able to make it to their scheduled lunch.

She messages Lena’s number that she knows Lena uses when she travels abroad. Right away there is an automated message saying that the line has temporarily been deactivated, and Kara’s heart sinks.

Mon-El walks into the apartment, Kara ignoring the urge to fly to the L Corp Shanghai branch, and instead kisses Mon-El in greeting. When they part, even though she sees Mon-El’s boyish smile, Kara can only think of Lena’s silence.

It’s just all so strange and sudden that when an alien attacks National City Bank, Kara’s a little thankful to have some amount of distraction. She hates the idea that somehow she’s offended her best friend.

After the DEO agents cart away the rogue alien, Kara touches down to the DEO headquarters. Winn grins at her, “Nice job, Supergirl.” He raises his hand for a high-five which she half-heartedly returns, still musing over what she could have done to Lena.

Winn shoots her a concerned look, but then it hits her. Winn and Lena have been “science bros” for a while now and she grasps his arms suddenly, locking him in place.

He yelps in surprise, recoiling backwards, but Kara holds him steady. “Winn! Do you know where Lena is?” she asks quickly.

Instantly, the surprise on his face is replaced with sympathy and his lips fall into a frown. There’s a churning feeling in her stomach that knows his reply won’t be good.

He tilts his head to the side, eyes searching. “Alex hasn’t talked to you?”

Kara shakes her head. “No… What’s going on, Winn?”

Winn bites his bottom lip. “I’d talk to Alex first, okay? Lena is totally fine and safe, but you should really go talk to Alex.”

Fortunately for Kara, Alex appears around the corner, shaking her head towards an empty corridor to talk. Kara falls into step behind her and she hasn’t felt this lost since college.

Alex cuts to the chase. “Lena really wants some space right now.”

“What do you mean?”

Alex reaches over to Kara’s arm placing her hand comfortingly. “She just really doesn’t want to see you, Kara. There’s a lot of things going on right now with her, and she wanted me to relay the message.”

“Alex, we’re best friends. I don’t understand.” Kara says despondently. Alex brings her into a tight embrace and Kara can feel her heart breaking a little bit. Lena’s her best friend, if there was something Kara did…

As if reading her thoughts, Alex whispers, “It’s not you okay? Just give Lena some space and I think she’ll come around. I’m sorry, Kara.”

As far as Kara’s concerned, space only separates people, but she nods helplessly against Alex’s shoulder anyways.

\--

As L Corp articles make their way through CatCo Worldwide Media, James has begrudgingly arranged for a reporter that is not Kara Danvers to conduct interviews per L Corp’s request.

When the first story comes through, about Lena’s newest solar powered generator that’s broken the world record by far of Lena’s own design, she overhears James on the phone.

“You’re making my life really difficult, Lena.” James sighs.

There’s a buzz and Kara can almost make out a chuckle. “I apologize, but you know how it is. I could always give my story to The Bulletin,” she says teasingly.

“You wouldn’t.”

Kara can almost hear Lena’s smile and there’s an immediate weight on her chest. “I wouldn’t, you’re right. But I’d really appreciate the favor, Mr. Olsen.”

“Well, if it’s what Ms. Luthor wants, she’ll get. Usually,” James replies.

“Usually,” Lena agrees on the other line. “I’ll speak with you soon, James. Take care. Thank you again.”

Kara tucks herself away behind a corner, debating whether to walk out and make it that obvious she was eavesdropping or to return to her desk. Retreating to her desk wins out, and she doesn’t meet James’ eyes when Drew Andrews receives the L Corp article to his delight.

Instead Snapper Carr puts her on daily news stories that Kara throws herself into, if only to forget about the lunch dates she should be having with a certain CEO.

Even after Alex telling her that Lena didn’t want any forms of communication from her, Kara couldn’t resist sending messages and several calls before realizing how pointless it is.

Instead, news of L Corp comes through the newsroom like she’s every other citizen. Occasionally, she’ll hear Winn tell James of something that he and Lena added to the Guardian armor. One afternoon, Alex returns to work with scotch on her breath, and Kara knows it’s from the aged bottle that Lena keeps in her office.

However, the biggest distraction of all comes from Mon-El, and Kara is so grateful despite the amount of nights she’s laid frustrated with him. At least she doesn’t think about what Lena must be doing then.

“Kara?” she hears from behind her. She’s just finished organizing her and Mon-El’s take out boxes, and she spins around to see Mon-El kneeling in her living room, a ring nestled gently in his palm.

It all happens so quickly, she sees flashes of James, Winn, Alex, her and Mon-El’s relationship, and at the end, Lena laughing across a table, as Mon-El recites a proposal that Winn had apparently helped him write. When a yes escapes her lips, the last thing she remembers hearing isn’t the yes but Lena’s twinkling laughter.

\--

Invitations are sent quickly, Mon-El vibrating with excitement. “It’s a party to celebrate how awesome our mating will be! The sooner, the better!”

“Yeah,” Kara says weakly. They invite everyone close to them and some coworkers from the DEO, a few from Catco and the alien bar from Mon-El’s quick stint.

However, as Kara pulls out another envelope, she sees Lena’s name printed in Winn’s angled scrawl. With all of the planning going on, her friends have kindly dedicated themselves to specific tasks. Winn’s was to make the guest list and print down the names.

Before she can second guess herself, Kara hurriedly writes down Lena’s apartment address then copies over her name and the L Corp building’s location on a second invite. Mon-El glances back at her, holding the last of the invites that need to be sent, smiling.

“Ready?”

Kara nods, tossing in Lena’s invitations and rises up. Mon-El leans down to place a sound kiss on her lips, and Kara can only wonder if this is what forever is supposed to taste like.

\--

Kara never receives Lena’s RSVP.

\--

The engagement party is in full swing and it amazes her how many people they’ve managed to fit. Mon-El is chatting with the other journalists in the living room. The amount of well-wishes they’ve received is overwhelming, leaving Kara with a warm smile at her guests.

“Hey Little Danvers,” Maggie greets when she and Alex arrive. Maggie places a chaste kiss on Kara’s cheek after Alex embraces her sister tightly.

“Thanks for coming you guys. And for setting up the catering and everything. And helping move furniture so we’d have more space. And…”

“Whoa, Kara,” Maggie stops her and places both hands on her shoulder. “It’s no problem. Congratulations. We were only happy to help.”

Alex nods in affirmation but the frown that’s set on her face has been a semi-permanent fixture since Kara told her about the engagement.

“Yeah, congratulations, Kar.”

Kara smiles up at her sister, but when seeing her feeble smile, Alex’s lips frown even deeper. “Think you can get us a drink, Mags? I want to talk to Kara for a bit.”

Maggie glances between the Danvers sisters, nodding once before placing a kiss on Alex’s cheek and maneuvering towards the kitchen.

“I really do mean it, Kara. Congratulations. As long as you’re happy, then so am I.”

Kara nods unsurely, leaning against the wall, sighing. “I believe you, Alex. I do. I’m sorry, I’m just a little bummed that Lena decided not to come.”

“You guys still haven’t talked?” Four months and counting. Kara shakes her head. “Well, maybe she just forgot to RSVP. You never know, and I’m sure she knows how important this is to you.”

The warmth of Alex’s assurances bring Kara more relief than she would have guessed. Having Alex on her side has always helped Kara feel more solid, sturdy. And since the engagement, all of it has just felt like a whirlwind.

“Thanks, Alex. Enjoy the party with Maggie, okay? I gotta make a couple rounds and check on Mon-El.”

\--

She walks by the double doors that lead to the patio that’d been installed after a Supergirl fight had knocked some of the foundations of her apartment building. Kara’s throat starts to close when she thinks of Lena that day, laughing at the massive hole blown into her apartment.

“Supergirl should have some access to Kara Danvers’ apartment, seeing how they’re such good friends,” she’d teased. Despite Kara’s initial resistance, she eventually let Lena front the majority of the damage and rebuilding costs.

“No more flying out of windows.” Lena had smiled so brightly when the work was finished and Kara was left staring after her as Lena walked out to inspect the work.

However, she’s stunned to see Lena speaking with Alex, leaning against the railing, a somber look on her face.

She rushes to open the door, sloshing the champagne in her glass, and when she is outside, standing in front of Lena and Alex, she’s frozen.

“Lena?” she breathes out, clutching the stem tightly. She feels a rattle as a crack forms and internally winces. However, that couldn’t matter less when Lena is standing in front of her.

She’s missed her best friend so much.

“Kara.” Lena’s expression is tight. “Congratulations on your engagement.”

Kara is brought down to Earth with that statement. She’s forgotten that was the reason why Lena was here in the first place. It’s just pure relief that Lena was willing to attend.

Alex clears her throat to the side. “I’m going to go find Maggie,” she says before leaving, taking Kara’s loosely held champagne glass with her.

Kara smiles at Lena, “Thank you. I didn’t think you were going to make it. I didn’t get an RSVP.” She stops, thinking about her words. “Not that I’m not glad you are here!” she rushes out.

When Lena laughs, Kara feels a wave of joy wash over her. “I’m sorry. It was a sort of last minute decision to attend. Work cleared up a little and Winn reminded me.” Lena explains. There’s something else, Kara can tell, but she’ll take what she can get.

It’s been months since she’s seen Lena. “Well, I’m really glad you’re here. It wouldn’t be my engagement party if my best friend wasn’t here.”

Lena’s eyes are a little glassy and slightly unfocused, but Lena breathes out, “We’re not really best friends anymore, Kara. Or friends at all.”

When the words escape Lena’s mouth, she looks equally as surprised as Kara feels crushed. It’s one thing to have the suspicion that a friendship may be over, but another thing entirely to hear it directly.

Lena’s lips thin, as she grasps onto the railing behind her tightly that Kara can see her knuckles turn white. Right now Kara resists all of the urges to run away.

“What? I thought we would always be friends,” Kara whispers.

Subconsciously, she fingers her engagement ring, feeling its weight so immensely that she can’t even bring up her left hand to try and wipe away the tears she feels pricking her eyes.

“Yeah, see, that’s where you were wrong. I think it’s physically impossible for me to be your friend when I just feel so much for you,” Lena sounds almost pained and finally raises her eyes to meet Kara’s, despite how unfocused.

The confession freezes Kara where she is, her eyebrows rising in shock. “Lena,” escapes from her mouth but Winn suddenly appears, immediately wrapping Lena in a half-embrace, retreating.

“Hey, Kara!” He greets, obviously more concerned with getting Lena out of there. “I think Lena’s had a little too much to drink. We should probably be heading back.” His words are so quick and he’s shuffling the two of them off the patio.

“I’m sorry we didn’t get a chance to really talk! I’ll see you at work!” Winn calls out behind him.

When the door shuts behind them, Kara sinks into a crouch, the ring pressing against her steel skin hard enough to leave a shallow imprint.

\--

“You’re impossible!”

Another fight the week later sends Mon-El to sleep in the DEO barracks, while Kara escapes to her sister over for some necessary comfort.

Alex welcomes her with open arms, calling Maggie to reschedule their usual sleepover plans.

“Are you okay?” Alex asks gently as they huddle together on the couch watching Orphan Black.

Kara tucks her cheek against her knees, huddling even tighter under the blankets. “No. I have no idea what I’m doing, Alex.”

She feels Alex’s callused fingers lifting her chin up, meeting her sure eyes. “Talk to me, Kara.”

“I just feel so sad like all the time. It’s like when I see Mon-El, a lot of times we just fight and I’m just angry, and I _know_ this isn’t supposed to feel that way.”

“Your engagement?” Alex presses. Kara nods.

She thinks of Lena, the broken look on her face when she confessed that they couldn’t be friends because she had feelings for Kara.

_It’s physically impossible for me to be your friend when I just feel so much for you._

She loathes herself for not seeing the signs. Lena had always made time for Kara when she was undoubtedly too busy to just be taking off from work for two hours every mid-afternoon. One night when Kara touched down as Supergirl, before Kara had told her the truth, Lena had expressed how business never slept when it was a global corporation.

Her favorite line to Kara had always been, “You are worth making time for, Kara Danvers.” And that made her feel so impossibly warm, warmer than anything she’s felt underneath the yellow sun.

“I just can’t imagine doing this every day for the rest of my life. I’m just so exhausted.” Alex wraps her arms around Kara’s body, Kara leaning into Alex’s shoulder. “And even more than all of that, I really miss Lena.”

Kara can feel Alex press a kiss against her temple and Kara revels in the comforting embrace. “I think it’s time for you to be your own hero, Kara. You’ve got to do what’s best for you.”

Kara glances down at the ring poking underneath the blankets, understands what Alex is referring to.

When Kara breaks off the engagement, she makes sure to do it in the DEO training room. However, Mon-El doesn’t do anything violent like she’d feared. Instead, he nods, his jaw locked, trying to hold back tears.

“I just want you to be happy, Kara Zor-El,” he tells her, accepting the ring.

She embraces him tearfully; the guilt seeping into her bones as she turns away from Mon-El’s hunched over silhouette.

There’s an empty feeling to the apartment when she returns. Mon-El didn’t have that many things to begin with, but now there is no singular trace that he was there.

Kara flops onto the bed and pulls out her phone. It buzzes in her hand causing her to nearly drop it on her face, but she grasps it just in time.

 **Winn:** _You should go talk to Lena. I know I told you she was drunk, and yeah, she was, but I swear she meant every word, Kara._

 **Winn:** _She really misses you._

The word has inevitably spread like wildfire around the DEO apparently, because Alex calls her right after to tell her she’s on her way to Kara’s apartment with pizza, ice cream, _and_ potstickers.

Kara has never felt so lucky.

\--

Kara waits until the next L Corp article pops up to visit Lena. She bribes Drew with a month’s supply of Noonan’s coffee and a promise that James wouldn’t fire him if he let her take over this one article.

“The rest are all yours, I promise,” Kara tells him, hoping that Lena would start requesting her again at the end of it.

When he agrees, he emails Jess that the interviewing reporter has changed, and Kara flies to L Corp in record time.

“Ms. Danvers! What are you doing here?” Jess seems thrown off but isn’t entirely surprised. She’s sure that the security had been instructed to warn Jess the minute Kara stepped foot in the building. Lena is nothing if not thorough.

“I’m here to interview, Ms. Luthor. Quarterly project announcements,” Kara shrugs.

Jess heaves out a sigh as she gestures to the adjacent waiting room. “If you could take a seat, you’re a little early,” she adds with a bite.

Kara nods understandingly, taking a seat and even shutting the door behind for emphasis but has her ears focused on Jess and Lena speaking.

“I’m sorry. CatCo told me Drew Andrews would be coming to interview you. I just received a call that it’s been changed.” Jess says with a sigh.

Lena sounds frantic as she replies. “How do you receive a call and Kara’s already here?”

Kara senses her cue as she walks pass Jess’s desk and opens the door to Lena’s office. Jess already knows to let Kara through when it gets this far; she’s learned first-hand that Kara is _strong_ (but not Supergirl strong yet).

“I flew here,” she says as means of explanation.

There’s a glint in Lena’s eyes as she asks, “On a bus?” It's a comfort knowing that Lena is still willing to make jokes with her. Kara still pouts, because when is that joke ever going to die?

However, when Lena’s small smirk starts to fade into a straight face, Kara finds herself explaining, “I’m sorry to come on such short notice. Drew wasn’t feeling well…”

Immediately Kara knows her poor excuse did nothing for Lena who rolls her eyes. Lena still offers Kara a seat and Kara considers that a win. But Kara’s plans for today expand far beyond an interview on L Corp’s latest initiatives.

She takes a deep breath and moves towards the couch. “I think we need to talk. Can we? Please?”

She can see the internal battle in Lena’s eyes, the grip her fingers are placing on her crossed arms. Lena maneuvers around her desk silently, her arms crossed but takes a seat.

When Lena sits down, before Kara can get a word in, begins apologizing. “I—Kara, I just want to say that was never my intention to tell you any of that during your engagement party. It was the last thing I wanted.”

It breaks Kara’s heart, the defeated expression on Lena’s face. Since she’s sat down, Lena hasn’t made eye contact with Kara once and Kara _knows_ it’s because Lena’s afraid of what she’ll see.

Kara reaches out to grasp Lena’s hands and says softly, “Lena, can you please look at me?” She can hear Lena’s heart speed up and the small but sharp intake of breath as Lena’s head shoots up and looks at Kara.

“You don’t have—”

She smiles slowly, knowing Lena has figured it out. “An engagement ring,” Kara finishes. She’s practically beaming. Expecting their triumphant reunion, she’s a little startled that Lena is now frozen in shock. Uh oh.

“Wait, Lena. I mean, I did this all for myself, but I realized that what I wanted most was to be with you. And I know this all seems a little presumptuous, but I also wanted to be sure and to give you some space because of what Winn said—”

“Are you sure?” Kara immediately stops her ramble and her hands tighten around Lena’s.

“ _I_ want to be with you. Can I be with you?” There’s nothing she wants more.

When Lena says yes, Kara feels exaltation. And when they kiss, Kara understands now, _this_ is what forever tastes like.  


End file.
